Disappointed...

I always wondering what will happen to me if something that had been happened to my friend turn on me???I always pray for almost every night or i should say every early morning as everyone knows that i'm an insomnia..that god will keep me away from all that plot...wish that our love is the pure love and keep it away from any pollusion...I'm really struggle for that until i don't even care if all the bad element throwed it to me and give all the blessing to you...Sometime i think that i just like the jack ass...My friend always share our problem together and wishing that all the problem will not come to our other friend...we solve everything together...kill all the suspected parasite...back to our problem...you might feel glad that you confess to me about your scandal...But it sure make me change my perception about you...For the past two years...are you happy with me???did i hurt you badly???am i that damn disgusting???i would ask for a reason if you really want me to leave you as long as your not lying...i just can't accept that kind of insident happened to me...in that time i still remember that we had a conflict because of my bad feeling about you...and i lying to myself that there's nothing happen and convince myself for not to trust my instinct...how about and i can't avoid myself to think what would happen if you go far from me...you might say that you want to cook for me but in the same time you just brought in instant food...i dont want to be as baby napkin...throw away after been used...
How fed-up i am with all my enemies and all cheat shooter pointing on me???It's really painfull...but i still thought on all that ...my feeling on you is just like the earth keep staying on it's orbit...I will try to forget our yesterday bit memory and keep the nice in the history journal...I want to say that love you for today and i really meant it and i still believe about our future because i know you still had a chance to choose...I don't have anything accept you can trust my loyalty to you...About the feedback that i will receive from you is not my number 1 priority because i had being failure for one month...